Lady Gaga and Self-Acceptance

Last week Lady Gaga was interviewed by Jean-Paul Gaultier, the renowned French fashion designer. The set was typical Gaga, stark and bizarre, everything wrapped in some sort of white plastic wrap. They talked about her life, career, and philosophies. Quite fascinating, really.

Gaga propels a message of acceptance–be yourself–be “little monsters,” if you are a monster. Yet toward the end of the interview she said, “I think it’s why I like fashion and style so much. I feel the ability to create an alternate fantasy and reality for myself that, if I do it over and over again every single day of my life, falling asleep in my wigs, my make-up, my jewelry, my dresses then somehow my fantasy becomes my reality.”

All of this got me thinking. I’m not sure why we would need to create an alternate reality if we truly accept ourselves, yet I also know we each do this in little ways. Building facades and letting few people really see us. And it’s all so tiring, avoiding yourself or creating another self. It’s constant maintenance.

I do like Gaga’s philosophy of self-acceptance, but I think she short-changes the process that could bring rest. Self-acceptance without hope for change leaves us in despair or puts us to work. All of us do one or the other–Gaga works, I often work–because we’ve come face to face with our brokenness and are unsure what to do about it, unless we accept a rest foreign to our logic. This rest arrives when you stare down the little monster, accept you are not just different but actually broken, yet accepted by your Creator in that condition. Self-acceptance alone is good for the hour but not for the day. Our hearts and inner sense of security need something stable. This comes by grace.

Grace is that we are always accepted, monster or not. And this grace, flowing from the heart of God, clearly seen in the person of Jesus, gets in us. It’s alive, and it begins to change us. Then we don’t need to create facades to sleep in.

Tags: culture, grace

Songs for Supper

Two weeks ago I was fortunate to lead an evening with some stellar Atlanta songwriters. Songs for Supper is a periodic dinner party with local Atlanta songwriters. We share a meal and listen to stellar music centering around a given theme for the evening. The line up: Jonathan Rich, Jason Harwell, Jeremy Ezell, Emily Lynch, Danny Brewer, Molly Parden, Ryan Horne, and Nathan Angelo. Check www.faithandculture.cc for our next dinner.

Our theme for the evening was “uncertainty.” After each musician introduced and played one song dealing with uncertainty I closed with a reading from 1 John 4, “perfect love casts out fear.” We dislike uncertainty because we hate fear. But when we know we are loved, no matter our failures or sufferings or rejections, fear is contained.

Here are a few pics from the night and a few samplings of the beautiful voices.
› Continue reading

Tags: music

Optimism and Self-Centered Prayers

Over Labor Day weekend we, along with a group of our friends, drove down to Grayton Beach, a stretch of white near Destin, Florida, for a weekend of volleyball, swimming, and grilling out. At least we thought that’s how our days would be spent, but Tropical Storm Lee decided to come ashore on Saturday morning.

I woke up Saturday morning to howling wind and sideways rain. Later the storm lessened, and we entered into the rhythm of the weekend–rain, wind, overcast, rain, wind, overcast. I was sort of down about all of this when my three year old, Josie, woke up. I told her it was raining and would probably be raining the entire weekend. I was feeling sorry for us. She shrugged her shoulders and said, “At least the trees are happy.”

This does bring a greater issue to surface. Our prayers. Because I prayed the storm would relent, that the rain would go back out to sea, but while I prayed this prayer there were probably thousands of farmers praying for more rain for their drought-ridden crops. I prayed for one thing, for my situation, while someone else prayed the exact opposite for theirs. Certainly in this situation the priority goes to the farmer and his crops, not my desire for sun on the beach. But, perhaps there was a deep sea fishing captain joining me in my prayer, praying the rain to leave, needing sunny days for his occupation and the well being of his family. The complexity of this is unending, and I don’t think it means we shouldn’t pray or shouldn’t be honest with the Lord. I’m just saying it’s something to think about as we bow our heads. For me, it creates an awe for God’s wisdom and sovereignty, and gratitude for his patience with me. It also reveals that prayer must be about more than asking for things in our limited perspective.

[The clip cuts short the mess that ensues when everyone's prayer is answered yes.]

Tags: prayer

John Stott on Feeling Alive

A few words on “When I Feel Most Alive” from the late John Stott, renowned thinker and writer:

Bradley Cooper, “Acting,” and Redemption

A while back I watched another worthy episode of Into the Actor’s Studio. Those of you who frequent this blog know I love this hour long interview show, yet I almost deleted this episode without watching it. It was an interview of Bradley Cooper (Wedding Crashers, The Hangover, Limitless). His resume didn’t allure me to watch the interview, but at the last moment, a second before clicking the red X, I navigated to the left and hit the green arrow. And I was pleased I did.

Cooper walks out on stage and sits in the chair opposite of James Lipton. Cooper is wearing a black suit and gray button up. He swoops his hair back and smiles as the crowd finishes their applause and takes their seats. Cooper looks over at Lipton, who is holding his baby blue interview cards, and the two talk for the next hour. I’ll save you the complete play by play and simply quote Cooper’s parting words, advice from his personal growth in acting to the crowd full of actors, decent advice for you and I:

“I’ve crossed over and sort of entered this place of reacting rather than attempting to manipulate……I’m dogmatic about being authentic in myself, making sure I’m not acting or trying not to act.”

Cooper is saying the best acting is done when you aren’t trying to act, when you exist within the scene and refuse to manipulate others in the scene.

I’ve manipulated people before, usually when I’m being self-absorbed, not exactly an honoring way to live. I’ve also acted — performed, played the role, followed the path — but I felt a hollowness in the actions. I was me but I wasn’t me. Neither manipulation or acting brings peace and life. They both root from a false sense of self, creating false realities around us, manufacturing time bombs in our hearts and relationships.

The other option for us, if we dare, is self-awareness, which will certainly lead us to despair, for even our good has hints of brokenness. And at this moment, in this reality of despair, we can look further into ourselves, only to end in even greater despair or even delusion itself. Or we can be carried on to redemption — something outside of our despair — a gift. This is why Jesus is so supreme — he’s unconditional love from God to us.

The lesson: the best living is done when you aren’t acting, and yet even when you are acting God is still loving.

Tags: authenticity, culture

Two Steps to Freedom

Freedom comes in two steps:

First, complete acknowledgement and understanding of sin in us. [We're that screwed up.]

And second, knowing we are loved by God in our mess. [We're that loved.]

Anything short of believing step one is delusion, creating dichotomy of the person. Anything short of believing step two is despair, leaving people hopeless.