Wild Turkeys and Living in the Present

A few nights ago I watched “My Life as a Turkey,” a surprisingly insightful documentary about naturalist-writer Joe Hutto who bonded with twelve wild turkey chicks during their first year of life. (Don’t think calm Thanksgiving turkeys — think wild, huge wilderness birds.) The most stellar commentary came halfway through his year with the turkeys:

“So many of us live either in the past or the future and betray the moment. And in some sense we forget to live our lives, and the wild turkeys were always reminding me to live my life. I think as humans we have this peculiar predisposition to always be thinking ahead and living a little in the future, anticipating the next minute, the next hour, the next day, and wild turkeys don’t do that. They are convinced everything they need, all their needs, can be met only in the present moment and in this space, and the world is not better a half a mile though the woods. It’s not better half an hour from now, and it’s not better tomorrow –- that this is as good as it gets. So, they constantly reminded me to do better, to not live in this abstraction of the future, which by definition will never exist. So, we sort of betray our lives in the moment, and the wild turkeys reminded me to be present, to be here.”

Seeing tomorrow is a blessing, but living there is a curse. Have a Merry Christmas, and let’s not think too much about the new year.

You can view the entire 50-minute documentary at PBS.

Christmas and Behavior Manipulation

We love to manipulate to get what we want. I catch myself doing this with my little girls. At times it is needed, for their safety and well being, and at other times it is for my selfish desires — usually peace and quiet is what I want. Parents use an array of behavior-curving tactics, no matter what parenting philosophy is practiced. We use stern voices, threats, promises, timeout, spanking, and the removal and giving of privileges. As any parent does, I have my views on which practices are better, but I will not dare to blog and enter those testy waters.

But I do have one soapbox with parenting, and with Christmas: gifts are not given because you’ve been good. That’s not a gift. That’s payment. It’s not love. To say, “You won’t receive gifts if you are naughty, so you better be good!” is a tragic tale that feeds our performance-oriented nature and has no lasting power to form liberated kind people. It’s gasoline to the stomach. Santa is jolly, but he is not gracious, at least not according to some of the songs about him. I don’t mind going along with the whole Santa tale — it’s fun as is Mickey Mouse. But the old red man counting all your deeds, watching over you all December, that I don’t care for.

Sure, we give a treat to a kid sleeping through the night, or even a paycheck to an employee performing at work. I understand the need and reality of such economies, but I’m talking about loving relationships. And more specific to the next week I’m talking about Christmas and the gifts under the tree, which are not just material things but also symbols of the giving nature of God to us.

I’ve been telling my three year old repeatedly, “Some people believe you have to be good to receive a gift, but that’s not true. God, and our family as well, gives gifts whether you’ve been bad or good.”

I love you when you are good.
I love you when you are bad.
I love you when you are clean.
I love you when you are dirty.
I love you when you succeed.
I love you when you fail.
I love you when everyone adores you.
I love you when no one knows your name.

I could go on…

Getting Life Right

Recently I heard a man say,

“I catch myself thinking if we can only move into the right neighborhood, get our kids in the right school, so they can have the right grades to get into the right college, to meet and marry the right spouse, to get the right job with the right salary, so they can move in the right neighborhood and get their kids in the right school………”

And then you wonder, what if none of that is the point?

What if we are already all we need to be?

Your Beliefs Create What?

At some point you have to ask what the beliefs you hold create.

[I'd right more about this, but at this moment, in my belief of brevity, I'm scared I might ruin that first sentence.]

A Loving Hello

A few weeks ago I saw an old friend at a fundraiser dinner. His face lit up and a smile appeared from ear to ear. He gave me a huge hug. He holds on longer than most people. I’d like to think this greeting is unique to me, and while it is sincere I know he is like this with all of his friends. This makes it no less refreshing to be the recipient of this abounding joy. I can live off one of his greetings for weeks. Sadly, being loved with such exuberance is a rarity, so when we receive it or when we give it it shimmers and shines.

A Sheriff and a Felon: The Complication of Humanity

Two news stories from last week:

First, we hear about a retired celebrated sheriff in Colorado, a man who has been recognized on a national level for his great work for justice. The sheriff was arrested for attempting to trade Meth for male sex. The sheriff is now in jail, the jail that was named in his honor years earlier.

Second, we find a convicted child molester save a suicidal teenage girl from drowning in a freezing lake in Hamden, Connecticut. A selfless act by a man who has committed hideous deeds.

With the first man we see great reputation becoming despicable. In the second man we find that which is despicable behaving honoring. I think both stories are a glimpse into the depravity and complication that is within each of us. Maybe our good and bad moments don’t have the extremes we find in these two stories, but we know this complication. We know our righteousness is tainted by this complication. Even in our shining moments there are dark places within us, and in our dark moments good is within reach. For the reality of these places, and the variance in between, we must find a righteousness outside of ourselves. This is the Christian message, the purpose of Jesus — broken people finding a rescuing love.

Brian Williams, NBC, and Imperfection

Readers, thank you for your patience. I haven’t been posting as much as I’d like due to working on a new writing project, a fiction piece that may prove to be stellar or quite average. I have no idea which it will be.

Now, on to recent news, horrible news actually. I mean the news, the actual news program, was horrible. Most nights NBC’s Brian Williams is perfect. Perfect hair. Perfect teeth. Perfect inflection and rhythm. Never a stutter or blunder. The segways are smooth and the commentary is smart. All is perfect in the NBC studio, usually, except for Tuesday night.

A test fire alarm went off in the NBC studios toward the beginning of the national news broadcast. It’s live television, so Brian kept reading. He forged ahead into the imperfection, and every second of the thirty minute broadcast the sirens competed with his voice. It was actually painful to watch, yet I loved it. I think it’s nice to be reminded that other people — even famous, rich, good-looking ones — are not perfect. We perform and mask and hide, but in the end we are all just human.